It’s been 26 days since I started a path to be clean & free of all cannabis use. It is something I did so much of these past few years and something that I am truly ashamed of doing in the first place. I now live my life with many regrets for what I did and all the damage it had caused me both mentally and physically. I had tried so many times to just stop smoking it all for good but always feel short of that goal. I kept thinking of my future and everyone who loves me and I thought about someone who has truly been my best friend someone who would do anything for me and my love. I always had this pain deep inside me and the cannabis was the way of masking that pain however it’s usefulness was slowing fading away and I was not feeling myself anymore. I always stayed at home and never went out anywhere or with my closest friends like I had use to do all the time me wanting to keep myself safe so I was not taken from my best friend was and has always been my top goal and after not being able to see her for over 3 years I realized that I needed to change and I had to stop smoking it for good. I had always been hungry all the time and eating lots of bad food and had gained so much unhealthy weight which was making me tired all the time and making me very depressed. I knew she would never want this for me nor a few other true life blessings or my family. Over time my lungs got irritated all the time and one good friend of mine had a lung collapse on her with 3 major surgeries that moment really scared me so much that I knew I had to stop damaging my lungs so I would never have to worry about anything happening to me. It’s only been 26 days but it has been very hard on me especially with all the withdraw symptoms not being able to eat and feeling more depressed than I have ever felt before and even having lots of anxiety and worry over my future and so many other things that I can’t even enjoy having any fun anymore with the things that always brought me so much joy and happiness to my life I feel like I always need to be by myself just to feel my own safety zone which makes it really hard. If I did not wake up everyday to know I have so much love from my best friend of over 12 years knowing that she loves and cares for me so much I just don’t think I could ever get through all of this.

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