Sometimes I just need to spell my heart out in order to feel better, but lately that has been so hard for me to do and right now I just feel a little lonely.  I know I have the greatest friends in the world and I know I would do anything for them, but somehow I have an empty feeling in my heart.  One day I met this girl from a friend of mine a couple years ago and she choose to put me in her life that night and we became friends.  We live about an hour apart, but always communicated on the phone and computer.  A lot of things starting happening to her that completely broke my heart and then we kind of lost touch for some time then one day I get invited to celebrate on her birthday and I said yes would love to.  I met up with her and a couple of her friends during the day and not long later we both got left behind and no way to contact the people she came with so I took her to my car and back to her friend’s apartment while I gave her a birthday present after all I knew she was going through some tough times lately and wanted her to feel loved. We later decided to go downtown to meet everyone again and shortly later they all left us again.  I stood by her side the whole night drinking birthday shots with her and I really had a fun night the most fun in a long time for me.  I later helped her get to my car to bring her to my place to sober up and sleep and I had realized that I truly cared a lot for this girl and she kept saying “I’m sorry Austin”, but I was not mad at her at all and I knew she was very depressed in ways I could never imagine.  The next morning I dropped her back off to her car and told her I loved her and gave her a hug goodbye and I haven’t had a chance to see her beautiful face ever since and to this day my heart has always had this lonely feeling inside that I just can’t ever understand.  I thank the good lord for her every day and I pray my heart out for her because she needs them more than anyone and I don’t know what I would ever do if anything ever happened to this girl she is the most amazing girl in the world and the best friend that I could have ever asked for and I worry about her all the time and I could never imagine in a million years living my life without her.